Snow is falling from the sky – in the middle of July
Sun was shining in my eyes again last night
Alarm goes off without a sound – the silence is so loud
Something isn’t right
Footsteps echo down the hall – no one’s there at all
Dial your number but your voice says “I’m not home”
Everything is inside out – I don’t know what it’s about
* It keeps getting stranger by the day
Stranger by the day
It keeps getting stranger by the day
Stranger by the day
Going for a walk outside – to see what I can find
No reflections in the windows I pass by
It feels hotter in the shade – water runs up from the drain
Something’s going on
Conversations with a mime – stared at by the blind
Imagination must be working overtime
The world is upside down – everything is turned around
*
By the time I reach your door – I can’t take anymore
I just happened to be in your neighborhood
I’m the one who gets surprised – I don’t believe my eyes
Your alibi’s no good
Whatever happened to the world
Whatever happened to the girl I thought I knew
It just can’t be true – I guess I’m losing you
To find a friend is not as easy to pour a drink
But even harder is to separate the good from those that stink
To realize this you spent years
A little scared, sometimes with tears
You will find out you’re still the same
And all those left, the ones to blame
Old loves die hard,and I can’t help it
But it’s tearing me apart
So what is left for you is just to heal the scars of hate
It seems a waste to try to teach an old dog newer tricks
If love appears to be a crime
If hate is hip, to cheat is fine
Just let me know, ‘cos I’ll take off
I hate to hate, I want to love
* Old loves die hard and I can’t help it
But it’s tearing me apart
Old loves die hard, they’re far from good
And they are only good from far
You create a mediocre heart-attack
To find the clue for right and wrong
A single word sometimes has more effect
To state a point of view
That could make your weakness strong
[VIII Regret]
Hello, mirror, so glad to see you my friend
It’s been a while…
Staring at the empty page before me
All the years of wreckage running through my head
Patterns of my life I thought adorned me
Revealing hurtful shame and deep lament
Overwhelming sorrow now absorbs me
As the pen begins to trace my darkest past
Signs throughout my life
that should have warned me
Of all the wrongs I’ve done for which I must repent
I once thought it better to regret
Things that I have done than haven’t
Sometimes you’ve got to be wrong
And learn the hard way
And sometimes you’ve got to be strong
When you think it’s too late
Staring at the finished page before me
All the damage now so clear and evident
Thinking about the dreaded task in store for me
A pit of fear at the thought of my amends
Hoping that this step will help restore me
To face my past and ask for forgiveness
Cleaning up my dirty side of this unswept street
Could this be the beginning of the end?
I once thought it better to regret
Things that I have done than haven’t
Sometimes you’ve got to be wrong
And learn the hard way
And just when you’re through hanging on
You’re saved
[IX Restitution]
“Until that moment, I’d never felt like I’d failed at anything…And I felt like I failed her…And I failed myself, and I failed my children…It’s still really hard to deal with.”
“I want to thank you for helping me to see my own selfishness and to tell you how regretful I am it has hurt you.”
“I’m sorry I didn’t visit you in the hospital, Grandpa when you were on your deathbed. I’m sorry I didn’t come to your funeral…I don’t know if I was selfish or just too scared to face it. It’s one of the biggest regrets of my life.”
“I’m here to confess with you that what I did, was wrong… And I’m asking for your forgiveness…”
“The only unforgivable thing hauls itself out of bed, looks over my shoulder at the bloody English weather…”
“I really regret not being able to see my friend Andy…”
“One of my best friends who’s the godfather of my daughter, he asked me to sing or play something at his wedding, and I turned it down because I was busy and too much of a chicken shit to do it…And I feel sorry for that, because it was a very very close friend of mine…”
“So, I wanted to apologize to anyone that I’ve upset or offended.. they’re just words, it’s just an opinion, but unfortunately, I tend to express it as a fact, and that’s kind of arrogant. Isn’t it?”
“I think it’s the betrayal…it still haunts me.”
“I’m sorry for what I did back then… I was a different person. I really was and I’m so sorry. I wish it wouldn’t have happened, but it did, and I’m sorry. Forgive me. I’m sorry…”
“I guess I’m simply sorry for being me and not you. I so often wish you could be here with me to show me the way…”
If we are painstaking about this phase of our development, we will be amazed before we are half way through.
We are going to know a new freedom and a new happiness.
We will not regret the past nor wish to shut the door on it.
We will comprehend the word serenity and we will know peace.
No matter how far down the scale we have gone, we will see how our experience can benefit others.
That feeling of uselessness and self-pity will disappear.
We will lose interest in selfish things and gain interest in our fellows.
Self seeking will slip away.
Our whole attitude and outlook upon life will change.
Fear of people and of economic insecurity will leave us.
We will intuitively know how to handle situations which used to baffle us.
We will suddenly realize that God is doing for us what we could not do for ourselves.
Are these extravagant promises? We think not. They are being fulfilled among us – sometimes quickly, sometimes slowly. They will always materialize if we work for them.
“You’re only as sick as your secrets, but the truth shall set you free…”
“The truth is the truth and the only thing you can do is to live with it.”
With hand on heart you right from the start,
You taught me to take my part.
No cross to bear, no reason to care, my life was all up in air,
Four to the floor, I was sure, never seeing clear,
I could have it all, whenever you are near.
The iron hand did not understand the plight of the common man.
Four to the floor I was sure, never seeing clear,
I could have it all whenever you are near.
Four to the floor I was sure, that you would be my girl,
We’d rent a little world, have a little girl.
Why, tell me the reasons why
Try, still I don’t understand
Will I ever feel this again
Blue sky, I’ll meet you in the end
Free them, free the memories of you
Free me, and rest ’til I’m with you
A day like today, my whole world has been changed
Nothing you say, will help ease my pain
Turn, I’ll turn this slowly round
Burn, burn to feel alive again
She, she’d want me to move on
See me, this place I still belong
Give chase, to find more than I have found
And face, this time now on my own
Days disappear and my world keeps changing
I feel you here and it keeps me sane
So I’m moving on, I’ll never forget
As you lay there and watched me
Accepting the end
I knew you were scared
You were strong I was trying
I gave you my hand
I said it’s okay letting go time to leave here
And I’ll carry on
The best that I can without you here beside me
Let him come take you home
A mother sings a lullaby to a child
Sometime in the future the boy goes wild
And all his nerves are feeling some kind of energy
A walk in the woods and I will try
Something under the trees that made you cry
It’s so erotic when your make up runs
* I got wiring loose inside my head
I got books that I never, ever read
I got secrets in my garden shed
I got a scar where all my urges bled
I got people underneath my bed
I got a place where all my dreams are dead
Swim with me into your blackest eyes
A few minutes with me inside my van
Should be so beautiful if we can
I’m feeling something taking over me
Look at me now, a shadow of the man I used to be…
Look through my eyes and through the years of loneliness you’ll see…
To the times in my life when I could not bear to lose, a simple game.
And the least of it all was the fortune and the fame…
But the dream seemed to end just as soon as it had begun…
Was I to know?
For the last thing of all that was on my mind
Was the close at the end of the show.
The shadow of a lonely man feels nobody else…
In the shadow of a lonely, lonely man
I can see myself…
(Looking out of nowhere…Looking out of nowhere…)
But the sound of the crowds when they come to see me now,
Is not the same.
And the jest of it all is I can’t recall my name.
But I cling to a hope till I can’t hold on anymore…anymore…
And for all the acclaim, I am all alone
And I see as I look through the door,
The shadow of a lonely man…There’s nobody else…
In the shadow of a lonely, lonely man
I can see myself!
…Look at me now, a shadow of the man I used to be….
Standing by the window, eyes upon the moon
Hoping that the memory will leave her spirit alone
She shuts the doors and lights and lays her body on the bed
Where images and words are running deep
She has too much pride to pull the sheets above her head
So quietly the lays and waits for sleep
She stares at the ceiling and tries not to think
And pictures the chain she’s been trying to link again
But the feeling is gone and water cant cover her memory
And ashes can’t answer her pain
God give me the power to take breath from a breeze
And call life from a cold metal frame
In with the ashes or up with the smoke from the fire
With wings up in heaven or here, lying in bed
Palm of her hand to my head
Now and forever curled in my heart
And the heart of the world
Well I’m standing here on moving station
All the world is traveling by
To strange outlandish destinations
There they go, I wonder why
I may be crazy but I’m no stupid
I get along, I use my silver tongue
You know I can dream in any language
Flying on my magic bed
And I don’t need to work my passage
All I do is use my head
I may be crazy but I’m no stupid
Sometimes I ramble then I’m lucid
I might seem lazy but I’m hurting no-one
I get along, I use my silver tongue
I know exactly what you’re thinking
But you don’t know what’s in my mind
You went too fast and now your sinking
Because you forgot to read the signs
Babe, baby, baby, I’m gonna Leave You.
I said baby, you know I’m gonna leave you.
I’ll leave you when the summertime,
Leave you when the summer comes a-rollin’
Leave you when the summer comes along.
Baby, baby, I don’t wanna leave you,
I ain’t jokin’ woman, I got to ramble.
Oh, yeah, baby, baby, I believin’,
We really got to ramble.
I can hear it callin’ me the way it used to do,
I can hear it callin’ me back home!
Babe…I’m gonna leave you
Oh, baby, you know, I’ve really got to leave you
Oh I can hear it callin ‘me
I said don’t you hear it callin’ me the way it used to do?
I know I never never never gonna leave your babe
But I got to go away from this place,
I’ve got to quit you, yeah
Baby, ooh don’t you hear it callin’ me?
Woman, woman, I know, I know
It feels good to have you back again
And I know that one day baby, it’s really gonna grow, yes it is.
We gonna go walkin’ through the park every day.
Come what may, every day
It was really, really good.
You made me happy every single day.
But now… I’ve got to go away!
Baby, baby, baby, baby
That’s when it’s callin’ me
I said that’s when it’s callin’ me back home…
All that time I was searching, nowhere to run to, it started me thinking,
Wondering what I have could make of my life, and who’d be waiting,
Asking all kinds of questions to myself, but never finding the answers,
Crying at the top of my voice, and no one listening,
All this time, I still remember everything you said
There’s so much you promised, how could I ever forget.
* Listen, you know I love you, but I just can’t take this,
You know I love you, but I’m playing for keeps,
Although I need you, I’m not gonna make this,
You know I want to, but I’m in too deep.
So listen, listen to me, oh you must believe me,
I can feel your eyes go thru me, but I don’t know why.
Ooh I know you’re going, but I can’t believe it’s the way that you’re leaving,
It’s like we never knew each other at all, it may be my fault,
I gave you too many reasons, being alone, when I didn’t want to
I thought you’d always be there, I almost believed you,
All this time, I still remember everything you said, oh
There’s so much you promised, how could I ever forget.
*
So listen, listen to me, I can feel your eyes go thru me
It seems I’ve spent too long only thinking about myself – oh
Now I want to spend my life just caring ’bout somebody else.
on candystripe legs the spiderman comes
softly through the shadow of the evening sun
stealing past the windows of the blissfully dead
looking for the victim shivering in bed
searching out fear in the gathering gloom and
suddenly! a movement in the corner of the room!
and there is nothing i can do when i realise with fright
that the spiderman is having me for dinner tonight!
quietly he laughs and shaking his head
creeps closer now closer to the foot of the bed
and softer than shadow and quicker than flies
his arms are all around me and his tongue in my eyes
“be still be calm be quiet now my precious boy
don’t struggle like that or i will only love you more
for it’s much too late to get away or turn on the light
the spiderman is having you for dinner tonight”
and i feel like i’m being eaten by a thousand million shivering furry holes
and i know that in the morning i will wake up in the shivering cold
